A welcoming church?

Yesterday we made a repeat visit to a church that was on our short list.  We went back because we liked the liturgy and preaching (and the music!) and, frankly… because it’s very close to home.  We’d gotten used to living close to church, and all the benefits that go along with that.  On the day of our first visit the pastor had politely asked guests to head down to the fellowship hall directly after the service, while members were to stay for an announcement by the Session.   We didn’t feel like fellowshipping with each other alone (we do that all the time) so we left pretty much right after the service.
Before we left I had a conversation with one of the members, and she subsequently sent me a very nice email with lots of information on local stores, etc.  We also got a nice letter from the pastor, welcoming us and mentioning that the happenings on the day of our first visit were unusual.  So, we figured we should go back.

We still liked the service, and the sermon was good.  It felt a little formal and stiff to me.  Afterwards we stood in line to greet the pastor then headed down to the fellowship hall.  There were a couple of sullen teens in the hall, and some men in the coffee room, and that was it, so the kids and I went in search of moms and children.  I guess the families with kids had left by the time we got outside!  There were some women milling around, but they were in conversation and had that “closed” look about them.  I’d blundered into those situations before and wasn’t about to do so again.  Cris chatted with some fellow seminary students for a bit; we didn’t stay too long.  When we were driving home, I thought about what felt wrong.

I realized later that there hadn’t been any announcements during the service.  No goings-on to report, I guess. But also no welcome to visitors.  If we hadn’t been there before we would never have known there was a fellowship hall and coffee and chatting to be had there.   So I realized that while I didn’t feel exactly unwelcome, it wasn’t real warm and fuzzy either.   It didn’t feel as though  (as a good friend of mine put it once, talking about another church) we’d crashed someone’s family reunion.  But it was kind of close.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been a new person at church, and I’d forgotten how uncomfortable that is.   So that led me to think about all the times I ducked into the kitchen after the service so I wouldn’t have to chat with people I didn’t know.  (I did have work to do, right?)   Or stood in a small closed circle chatting with people I did know.  Shame on me.

On a brighter note, a woman I met at another church we visited invited us to attend a potluck picnic this week.  That church has small-group weekly Bible studies, and hers is having a picnic this week instead.   Even Eleanor was interested in that event, so we’ll see how that goes.  That will be Wednesday.

Tuesday morning is Cris’s final exam – if you’re awake at about 9:30 am (Eastern) on Tuesday and in the mood to pray, Cris would surely appreciate it.   That night the seminary is having an ice-cream social for all the families and everyone is looking forward to that too!